Enough

And I wasn’t enough
They took and took and took some more.
Until all that was left of me was a husk of my former soul
But I couldn’t be what they wanted.
They wanted a rainbow but I was just blue.
They wanted a galaxy, I was just one star.
They wanted sunshine,  I was just … sunshine.
But I still wasn’t enough even though I was just what they wanted.
They said I was too bright.
They wanted a desert, I was just one grain of sand.
They said a storm would cool their hatred for me.
I squeezed myself until I imploded but I was just one drop.

MoonChild,
Ada di ora mma,
Daughter of the gods,
Descendant of goddesses.
Royalty flows in your blood;
Blue blooded from birth.
Who made you doubt whom you are ?
Who tore down your self confidence ?
Who dared try to break down what the gods put together ?
You are life.
Look at the way your skin glows.
Dark as the fertile lands from which we survive.
Don’t you know ? You don’t ?
Look at the way your hips sway,
Like the winds sway the tree.
You are a life force.
Mother of nations.
Look them in the eye and tell them who you are.
As you dance to the music in the wind
As the world plays her symphony around you.
As your father and his father before play their flutes for you.
As the sweat rolls off you like waterfalls.
Dig the balls of your feet into the soil and claim what is yours.
You are the earth and she is you.
But never forget.
You are death too,
Take your wrath out on those who seek to destroy you.
Become the water which they seek
Let the waters take them
And let it drown them.
Shine bright like the sun.
Burn their hatred for you
Burn their hatred and them with it.
Reduce them to ashes.
Deserts the colour of your palms will roll off your skin, bury them in your sand Ada’m.
Bury them in yourself.
You are the land and she is you.
But; you can never be a rainbow, Nne’m.
You are Blue-blooded.
Do not ever taint your blood with mediocrity to please the world.
You are enough, you are more than enough.

Sunshine

Fear

I have no greatest fear, I have too many fears.
I will show you.

• Blood, dripping fast, all over my hands, blood from family dying slowly, looking me in the face as they all die, the anguish, the torment, the pain, the helplessness, the absence of a way to stop it, giving up and dying slowly.

• Repetition, holes in the skin, too many, repeated across the body, so many, so big, so small, the smells oozing out.

• Falling, falling through air, falling down from so high up, the rush, the air, choking, choking, too much wind, down, the thud, blood starts entering your lungs, you’re gone.

• Fire, burning you, peeling away your skin, boiling your blood, torment, heat, you die in a heartbeat.
Ice, freezing you, icing your blood, excruciating pain, numbing your body, you freeze to death.

• Such a lovely day, let’s go swimming, waves are too much, you lose your balance, going under, struggling for air, gulp in water, lungs are filling up with water, you can’t breathe, slowly going under, under, under……you’re gone.

• no light, trapped inside, so tight, so small, creaking out, clawing, clawing, wood in my finger nails, so tight, so close, pull me out, opennn it. Please, I can’t breathe, there’s soil, I’m 6ft under but alive, help me, I’m dying, my flesh is crawling, gasping for breath, none, dead.

• Maggots crawling across my skin, too many, eating me alive, slowly, painfully, save me, shoot me, kill me please. End this torture. Please.

• black hole, no sounds, I can’t speak, I can’t see, blindness, dumbness, deafness and paralyzed, kill me. Now, send me to my father.

• 2 cars in front of my house, my husband’s and a lady’s. Cheating, I will break, mentally, physically and emotionally, a shadow of myself. A loss of memorable events.

These are my fears, these are what I try to avoid,

What are your fears ?

Au†ora