100 truths

Haven’t done this in a while, writers’ block won’t let me write so here goes.

100 TRUTHS

1. Last beverage: Fanta.
2. Last phone call: My Mum.
3. Last text message: MTN
4. Last song you listened to: Beneath Your Beautiful.
5. Last time you cried: I can’t remember. Numb.

* HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice?: Nope.
7. Been cheated on?: Yup.
8. Kissed someone?: Yup.
9. Lost someone special? Too many.
10. Been depressed?: I still am.
11. Been drunk and threw up?: Yup.

* LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black
13. Red
14. Pink
15. Black again.

* HAVE YOU:

16. Made new friends: Yes.
17. Fallen out of love: Never been in love. I just love.
18. Laughed until you cried: Yes.
19. Met someone who changed you: Yes.
20. Found out who your true friends were: No.
21. Found out someone was talking about
you: I don’t care really.
22. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: Yup.
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life?: A lot.
25. Do you have any pets: A dog; Murphy.
26. Do you want to change your name: I like my name.
27. What did you do for your last birthday: Stayed at my sister’s place wishing i’d die.
28. What time did you wake up today: 4am.
29. What were you doing at midnight last
night: BBM, skittles, fanta.
30. Name something you cannot wait for: My own home, My family, The End of the world.
31. Last time you saw your father: this morning.
32. What is one thing you wish you could
change about your life: the way I look at it. Where I was born.
33. What are you listening to right now: As long as you love me.
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Does Tunmise count ?
35. What’s getting on your nerves right now?: the world.
36. Most visited webpage: My blog.
37. What’s your name: Ogenna Autora Chizoba Onyinyechi Ogbogu.
38. Nicknames: Is Oge a nickname ?
39. Relationship Status: Single.
40. Zodiac sign: Leo.
41. Male or female or transgendered: Female.
42. Primary: Amen Montessori Children’s House.
43. High School: Secondary please. Federal Government Girls’ College Owerri
44. College → University please. Federal University of Technology Owerri.
45. Hair colour → Black, hints of brown, red in some places now.
46. Long/medium/short: Long.
47. Height: 6’2 or 6’3.
48. Do you have a crush on someone?: No.
49: What do you like about yourself?: I’m a decent writer. 50. Home Town: Nawfija, Orumba South, Anambra
51. Tattoos: Does a big birthmark count ?
52. Righty or lefty: Righty.

FIRSTS:

53. First surgery → 2010, Appendix & an ovarian cyst.
54. First relationship → At 14.
55. First best friends → Kelechi Joe-Nweke, Adaeze Nwokem, Nkechi Egu.
56. First sport you joined → Relay Race.
57. First pet: Lily, my personal dog, someone poisoned her.
58. First vacation→ Lagos.
59. First concert → none yet.
60. First crush → Nnamdi Nwoko.

* RIGHT NOW:

61. Eating → Skittles
62. Drinking → Fanta
63. Already missing → No one.
64. I’m about to → Continue Reading. 5.0 and all unno.
65. Listening to → Bartender. Super Cee & M.I
66. Thinking about → Nothing, mind’s blank.
67. Waiting for? Nothing, I don’t care really.

* YOUR FUTURE :

68. Want kids? → A lot.
69. Want to get married? → Not sure yet.
70. Careers in mind → Writing, A housewife.

* WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE
SEX?

71. Lips or eyes → Lips. Just lips.
72. Hugs or kisses → Hugs.
73. Shorter or taller → Taller.
74. Older or Younger → Any.
75. Romantic or spontaneous → Both.
76. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms.
77. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
78. Hook-up or relationship → I’m scared of commitment.
79. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble Maker.

* HAVE YOU EVER :

81. Drank hard liquor → Yup.
82. Lost glasses/contacts → Just glasses.
83. Had sex on 1st date – Virgin 🙂
84. Broken someone’s heart → Yes, I suppose so.
85. Had your own heart broken → Mine only pumps blood.
86. Been arrested → No.
87. Turned someone down → Yes. Lots of people.
88. Cried when someone died → Yes.
89. Liked a friend that of the same sex? → No. Not a lesbian bruv.

* DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself → No.
91. Miracles → Yes.
92. Love at first sight → No.
93. Heaven → Yes.
94. Santa Claus → No.
95. Kiss on the first date? → Yes.
96. Angels → Yes

* ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with
right now?: I’d rather be alone.
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend.: No, I think.
99. Wish you could change things in your
past? Yes. I would have never watched fairytales. Life isn’t what it seems.
100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → Of course.

If you know me which isn’t likely and you think I lied or i’m lying, please comment, i’d love to prove you wrong.

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Serious Business

Hello there, i’ve been wanting to make a post that’s just for me, no poems, no stories, just me but i’ve been putting it off then yesterday I read that 50 shades of bullshit and the anger in my soul pushed me to post this. I’m going to rant if you don’t want to read it, just close it now please.

I’m sorry, may God forgive me for what i’m about to say, the publisher of that book is/was quite jobless, the author obviously was horny and needed a way to let off steam, that book (it’s not worthy to be called a novel) has no story line, just stupid bouts of sex that I don’t want to imagine, how will you have sex with a woman on her period ?? It’s blood from her vagina for Lord’s sake, how do you get off on tying people up and “spanking” them or inflicting pain on them ? I’m sorry can someone explain this to me because as #TeamVirginTillChristComes I don’t understand this weird concept. I mean camman, the gods of fanta see this as strange and impure. My husband wouldn’t dare do something that stupid, Sango will rip off his balls without anesthesia, period time is ME time, not us time; ME !!! so if for some weird reason my husband attempts this nons̶e̶n̶s̶e̶ he’ll sorely miss his balls.

Which brings me to the issue of future husbands. I have a set of rules/pleas for you if you’re reading this. Please adhere to these rules/pleas.

• I don’t like big things and all, I don’t like too much spending of money so you can buy me a small engagement ring, I don’t know how they count all these things, 100-karat diamond and shi’ i’m not about the big things please. Just use the money and buy me a truck load of fanta instead. Thank you. I love you very much and the gods of fanta will bless you.

• Our wedding can be small I don’t mind, anything your money can get us bae, it’s our wedding, no need to show off and drink garri for a long while after our wedding. Not that I won’t drink garri with you :*
PS No joint accounts BIKO, we are one, not our accounts.

• Separate bedrooms BIKO, i’ll be crashing in yours all the time but there may come a time when we might annoy each other and I might want to stay in my bedroom and sulk.

• We aren’t working in the same office; no reason for this but we are not doing it ( ˘˘̯)

• In-laws shall not live with us, tufiakwa, girls are looking for husband, I need to safeguard you, if I looseguard anyhow, you’ll miss. Native doctors can now teleport humans, no jokes. + I can’t have your mother/father/sister/cousins/grandmother watching my every move. mbanu !!

• We will have at least 5 children, I don’t care what sequence but best believe there’ll be a boy there somewhere or two boys.

• There will not be any form of strange sex deeds in our house that will involve toys. The day you’ll attempt it is the day you’ll lose your anal virginity, I promise you 🙂

• If for some strange reason, my food doesn’t taste as good as your mother’s own, tell me. I’ll find her and she’ll teach me how to please her baby boy, I don’t mind at all as far as you’re happy, I can even pound yam for you. All for love baby boy.

• I can’t marry a bad dresser but if the gods of fanta bless you with charm that blinds me to your bad dressing, please, mbok, allow me to advice you on how to dress, be my Ken, ;;) i’ll be your Barbie, figure 8 and coke bottle shi’.

• Share your problems please, no matter how big I want to know, enjoy together ? Suffer together. But if your secretary/anyone is pregnant for you, Nna it’s still our problem but hide her because I will kill her, slowly and with great pleasure, heartbreak and knives don’t work well bae.

• Cuddling; that’s the shit I love, remember, clubbing/partying; that’s the shi’ I don’t like, a quiet dinner boo. We’ll just club once in a while that’s if you want to.

I can’t remember anything again dear future husband, I will do another post for you and our future children because the boys might decide they want to become like Mr Christian Grey and the girls might want to be like Ms Anastasia Steele. So I shall continue this post with their own rules,

If you’re still reading this you’re as jobless as me and you need a new hobby.

Bye.

• Ogbogu Chizoba Ogenna ©

• Autora™

Asylum

White ? White.
I am sane.
I am not ? We are not.
They believe
Then they don’t.
They’re confused.
Laughter, more laughter.
Happiness ? Why ?
Pain, pin-pricks.
Blood.
Standing in the rain.
Tears are drowning me.
Running down my face;
Coloured black.
Black and red on white.
Sanity in a mad house.
Black now.
Black on black on black.
Peace. Taken.
Last Breath.
Red sand.
Goodbye.

Ogenna Chizoba Ogbogu ©

Early cummer

He’s come again, to tell a story.

Gather round , gather round people, a tale is about to be told, a tale of dreams and aspirations, a tale that’ll warm your innards .

Written by @Oluseyimcfunny

&

Edited by @__friendlyghost

(Writer at Thatsmartlittlegirl)

Enjoy.

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I like all kinds of girls. Ok, almost all. I wouldn’t want a Whoopi Goldberg in my bed. I try not to be too choosy but then again, if you’re as lucky as I am facially, you’d tend to go for the best, most times.

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Temi, (yeah, that’s her name) gives sexy a whole new definition. Her big brown eyes, her fair boobs, those luscious lips, the way she swings her hips from left to right while walking, her hot legs. By the way, Beyonce aint got nothing on Temi’s ass. OJIBIJIBIJIBI.. She was the whole package and more!

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What was she doing in my house? How did she get to my house? Who gave her my address? The last time we spoke, she wasn’t even in the country.

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“This must be a dream.”, I thought

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I pinched myself to “wake up” from my slumber. She was still there! My God! Temi was still there! The dress she was wearing did wonders to her figure! I swear I wanted to pounce on her! Little me was already having “hard” times.

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“This would be the best day of my life!”, I thought to myself.

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We were still catching up on old times when it happened. She kissed me. Oh! Her soft lips and strawberry flavoured lip gloss ❤ <3. Before I could say JACK ROBINSON, we were naked. I kissed her lips, kissed her neck, kissed her boobs, kissed her tummy, got really close to her kitty and kissed it lightly. She held my head in place and pushed it down.

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“FaraBURUKUbale”, I said to myself.

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After about 5 mins of 69 (the best one of my life. Errrm, ok, the only one x_x), she begged me to penetrate. I teased her a little, brushed little me over her kitty a few times before entering slowly.

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“Fuck it, fuck… Ah, oohhhh, kileleyi naw” was all I could say. The sticky shit was all over my pair of shorts and my bed sheet. I hate when this happens. *sigh*

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I HATE WET DREAMS!

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© Oluseyi Sanyaolu

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If you’ld like to put up a story or a poem , anything at all, just send a mail to lil.izzi_14y2k9@ymail.com.

Thank you.

And on this note please follow @Midebeatz

Out of Breath

Guest Blogger!

A very dear friend wrote this and has asked me to share it with you…Relax and Enjoy and yes look for him on twitter @OluseyiMcFunny, then another friend edited it @__FriendyGhost, check out her blog please thatsmartlittlegirl.wordpress.com

Presenting : Out Of Breath.

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 If only I could turn back the hands of time. If only I had gone with my instincts and stopped her from staying on top, I wouldn’t be in the hospital right now with multiple fractures.

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Growing up, I was told that when one is about to die, he sees all the things and people he loves. I’ve never been one to believe in myths ( I regarded this as one too), but when she jumped on me, I saw boobs, Halo wars, Ice Cream, Call of Duty, Need for speed…… X_X

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I’m not your regular guy. I don’t really like sex. Let me rephrase that. It’s not like I don’t like sex, its just.. Errrm.. I don’t get a lot of opportunities X_X. I’m not a ‘Trey Songz’, I’m not even close but I’m not Segun Arinze-ish either. Let me just say I’m caught in between Olu Jacobs and Pete Edochie. Hold it! Before you start getting ideas, I’m the young version of their perpendicular bisector. ( Big grammar right? :p)

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Words couldn’t explain my excitement when my friend, Ade, told me he had found my ‘perfect match’! I had my suspicions though but I trusted his judgement. I was given a 4-day notice. I thought to myself,

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“That’s enough time to improve my Fela look.”

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I improved my diet, ate more and did more push ups than usual. I even slept more just to impress my ‘date’. It actually worked! *doing the windeck dance*. I think I got bigger down there, or maybe it was just me getting excited.

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The morning of the D-day, my mind played so many tricks on me.

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“I hope she’s hot, like really bang-able. But then again, what if she’s ugly? Or fat? Oh well, she’ll know how to knack …………….¯\..(•͡.̮ •͡ )../¯, after all Ade is not blind “

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My ‘perfect match’ was a handful, like literally! She was BIG like 4 times my size and no, I’m not exaggerating. The only advantage, however, she had massive boobs. (Did I mention I’m a sucker for boobs? Oh yes, I did). I thought to myself,

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“No doubt, Ade hates me! How will he give me this kind of girl?” The girl n I got talking and surprisingly, we were a perfect match. She didn’t like sleeping in the dark, me too! She didn’t like it when people come in and don’t close the door, I hate it too. She loved Topgear, I did too.

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Just when I thought I had found a new bestie, she leaned forward and kissed me. My temperature rose, my hands started to shake. Anyone that had seen me would have thought I was having a convulsion. Anyway, I kissed back… I think. I can’t remember much. I know we excused ourselves from the lounge and ended up in Ade’s bed.

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I enjoyed the whole new experience right up until I made the biggest mistake of my life, letting her go on top. 😦

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© Oluseyi Sanyaolu